Kindergarten-s-a-coming...
Is your child approaching kindergarten age?
Have you prepared your child for the prekindergarten screening?
Here is some insight into the process:
My oldest is now almost 15 years old but it seems like just yesterday that we were walking in to that “Prescreening Testing Center”…
I’m still not sure whether it was because I was a foreigner or because I was a first-time mum or a working mum, it is also possible that it was because I was foreign and a first-timer and a working mum! Whatever the reason, kindergarten didn’t go as planned not, I hasten to add,
that there ever was a plan...
Joshua, my pride and joy was approaching the ripe old age of 5! Both he and I were excited about kindergarten and the prospect of this new, previously uncharted territory. Joshua stared up me, wide-eyed and innocent about this new adventure! I was excited, too, about the idea of my boy starting school. I think most new mums are excited about this major milestone. I was also excited about learning more about American schools after all, I’d only seen them in the movies for 20+ years, now I was going to see a real one!
We’d done preschool. Since the tender age of 2, Joshua had been enrolled in a wonderful preschool program, you know the type, no sugar, no guns, no hitting. Our philosophy at home matched the philosophy at preschool, use your words, play fair and share… And of course, don’t talk to strangers… Not forgetting don’t go out of the house by yourself and don’t ever, ever eat anything that a stranger gives you and never, ever go with a stranger for any reason even if he says he’s lost his doggie (we all saw the Oprah special). I assumed that kindergarten would run as smoothly…
Now I, as you know, am a developmental psychologist and not unfamiliar with the requirements for kindergarten or the screening process thereof. This, as it turns out, was of no help whatsoever. We put on our cleanest clothes and, one morning in May, we wandered up to our local school for this “pre kindergarten screening” blissfully ignorant of what we were in store for…
We registered at the desk then sat in the waiting area for our turn. A woman, a little older than myself, came over to Joshua and asked him to follow her. She offered him her hand. Well, at the tender age of 4 Joshua had memorized the rules, no hitting, no fighting (so far so good) and don’t go with strangers… Joshua looked up at this woman as if she were half mad and told her in no uncertain terms that he was 4 years old and that she was a stranger and that he, Joshua the 4 year old, did not go anywhere with strangers, ever! Good point son. We all agreed that it would be ok for Joshua to go with this “friend of Mum’s” and that mum would walk into the testing hall behind Joshua. So in we went, my rule bound son, the stranger and myself… I waited unnobtrusively by the door as Joshua sat down at the testing table. I was, I must admit, just a little bit proud of my son for following his rules and questioning a stranger and somewhere, under all the embarrassment of the day, I felt like I had parented well for the first 4 years.
Meanwhile, another storm was brewing. As I turned to leave the testing area something caught my eye, in the center of the testing table was a bowl of candy, a large round bowl overflowing with M&M’s. I see, as only a mother can, the pained look on my son’s face. It was certainly not test anxiety but rather the determination of a highly conscientious 4 year old trying to resist this chocolate temptation. Joshua knew the rules, and this was most certainly candy and these
were, without doubt, strangers. I watched in quiet desperation as my son failed to answer question after question. Now we hadn’t “studied” for the test but I was reasonably confident that even at the tender age of 4, he knew his name and could count to 10. I stood frozen at the door watching his index and middle fingers twitch towards the bowl. I think I saw beads of sweat forming on his 4 year old brow. I couldn’t watch. I prized myself away from the testing area and returned to the waiting room. What kind of parent was I? What had I done to my son? If he had just eaten the candy and bounced off the walls like a normal child…
My mind was racing, would he begin his public school career in remediation? If he had just eaten the candy then he would have heard the questions that were being asked. At least then I would be sure that he failed because he didn’t know the answers not because he was preoccupied. Should I have prepared him better for the test? As I sat in that lonely waiting room I realized that he didn’t even know his own phone number. He’d never really needed to. It had never come up. He was 4 years old, he’d never had to call home from the mall or from a friend’s house. He couldn’t read either. I thought that was the purpose of Kindergarten, to teach them to read. My mind was racing. Had I parented all wrong? I made up my mind to go home and teach him to read and count the second that we left the testing center. Maybe the M&Ms didn’t matter so much because how many questions could he answer anyway…
When he finally came out of the testing center I was a mess. In the car I “squeezed” him for information. Who’s kidding who, on the walk to the car I began the inquisition. He couldn’t write his name... He couldn’t spell “cat”. .. He didn’t know which number came after 10. He couldn’t differentiate between the letters “P” and “F”… Perhaps he belonged in remediation. What, realistically, should a 4 year old be able to do? What should I have taught him to do? Tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t need an exceptional child, I just wanted a normal child. I was wracked with guilt. What had I done, or not done for my son?
That little rule bound 4 year old will be turning 15 next month and let me reassure you that he is just fine. In hindsight, he had the best preparation possible for kindergarten, middle school and high school…
Have you prepared your child for the prekindergarten screening?
Here is some insight into the process:
My oldest is now almost 15 years old but it seems like just yesterday that we were walking in to that “Prescreening Testing Center”…
I’m still not sure whether it was because I was a foreigner or because I was a first-time mum or a working mum, it is also possible that it was because I was foreign and a first-timer and a working mum! Whatever the reason, kindergarten didn’t go as planned not, I hasten to add,
that there ever was a plan...
Joshua, my pride and joy was approaching the ripe old age of 5! Both he and I were excited about kindergarten and the prospect of this new, previously uncharted territory. Joshua stared up me, wide-eyed and innocent about this new adventure! I was excited, too, about the idea of my boy starting school. I think most new mums are excited about this major milestone. I was also excited about learning more about American schools after all, I’d only seen them in the movies for 20+ years, now I was going to see a real one!
We’d done preschool. Since the tender age of 2, Joshua had been enrolled in a wonderful preschool program, you know the type, no sugar, no guns, no hitting. Our philosophy at home matched the philosophy at preschool, use your words, play fair and share… And of course, don’t talk to strangers… Not forgetting don’t go out of the house by yourself and don’t ever, ever eat anything that a stranger gives you and never, ever go with a stranger for any reason even if he says he’s lost his doggie (we all saw the Oprah special). I assumed that kindergarten would run as smoothly…
Now I, as you know, am a developmental psychologist and not unfamiliar with the requirements for kindergarten or the screening process thereof. This, as it turns out, was of no help whatsoever. We put on our cleanest clothes and, one morning in May, we wandered up to our local school for this “pre kindergarten screening” blissfully ignorant of what we were in store for…
We registered at the desk then sat in the waiting area for our turn. A woman, a little older than myself, came over to Joshua and asked him to follow her. She offered him her hand. Well, at the tender age of 4 Joshua had memorized the rules, no hitting, no fighting (so far so good) and don’t go with strangers… Joshua looked up at this woman as if she were half mad and told her in no uncertain terms that he was 4 years old and that she was a stranger and that he, Joshua the 4 year old, did not go anywhere with strangers, ever! Good point son. We all agreed that it would be ok for Joshua to go with this “friend of Mum’s” and that mum would walk into the testing hall behind Joshua. So in we went, my rule bound son, the stranger and myself… I waited unnobtrusively by the door as Joshua sat down at the testing table. I was, I must admit, just a little bit proud of my son for following his rules and questioning a stranger and somewhere, under all the embarrassment of the day, I felt like I had parented well for the first 4 years.
Meanwhile, another storm was brewing. As I turned to leave the testing area something caught my eye, in the center of the testing table was a bowl of candy, a large round bowl overflowing with M&M’s. I see, as only a mother can, the pained look on my son’s face. It was certainly not test anxiety but rather the determination of a highly conscientious 4 year old trying to resist this chocolate temptation. Joshua knew the rules, and this was most certainly candy and these
were, without doubt, strangers. I watched in quiet desperation as my son failed to answer question after question. Now we hadn’t “studied” for the test but I was reasonably confident that even at the tender age of 4, he knew his name and could count to 10. I stood frozen at the door watching his index and middle fingers twitch towards the bowl. I think I saw beads of sweat forming on his 4 year old brow. I couldn’t watch. I prized myself away from the testing area and returned to the waiting room. What kind of parent was I? What had I done to my son? If he had just eaten the candy and bounced off the walls like a normal child…
My mind was racing, would he begin his public school career in remediation? If he had just eaten the candy then he would have heard the questions that were being asked. At least then I would be sure that he failed because he didn’t know the answers not because he was preoccupied. Should I have prepared him better for the test? As I sat in that lonely waiting room I realized that he didn’t even know his own phone number. He’d never really needed to. It had never come up. He was 4 years old, he’d never had to call home from the mall or from a friend’s house. He couldn’t read either. I thought that was the purpose of Kindergarten, to teach them to read. My mind was racing. Had I parented all wrong? I made up my mind to go home and teach him to read and count the second that we left the testing center. Maybe the M&Ms didn’t matter so much because how many questions could he answer anyway…
When he finally came out of the testing center I was a mess. In the car I “squeezed” him for information. Who’s kidding who, on the walk to the car I began the inquisition. He couldn’t write his name... He couldn’t spell “cat”. .. He didn’t know which number came after 10. He couldn’t differentiate between the letters “P” and “F”… Perhaps he belonged in remediation. What, realistically, should a 4 year old be able to do? What should I have taught him to do? Tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t need an exceptional child, I just wanted a normal child. I was wracked with guilt. What had I done, or not done for my son?
That little rule bound 4 year old will be turning 15 next month and let me reassure you that he is just fine. In hindsight, he had the best preparation possible for kindergarten, middle school and high school…
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